“I have been in therapy for decades. I know this stuff, but I still haven’t changed.”  People come into my office after years of talk therapy, most with positive experiences, but something is still missing. Most can name their trauma clearly, they understand their family of origin and how the system has played out in [...]

Continue reading Narrative Somatics: Articulating My Therapeutic Practice at Andrew J Bauman.

Honored to be with my mom today, every moment holy. It’s a gift to say goodbye in this way. This will be the 7th day in a row I am getting to sit with her and visit. Part of me hates this; the other part of me wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. It is [...]

Continue reading My Mom is Dying at Andrew J Bauman.

  Healthy sex with your partner is not about practicing some new sex tip you saw on TikTok or a new performance strategy you researched while watching porn. Slow sex is a posture—an embodied humility that asks a man to finally show up in his fullness, not as a performer, but as a sojourner, to [...]

Continue reading Slow Sex: Why Men Must Learn Presence—and Why Women Deserve More at Andrew J Bauman.

Men are taught early on to categorize women. We do this unconsciously and instinctively, often forming this approach in adolescence. It’s part of the socialization of masculinity — a system that teaches boys to relate to women not as full humans but as utility and function, with the mindset, “what can you do for me?”  [...]

Continue reading How Men Categorize Women—and Why It’s Killing Intimacy at Andrew J Bauman.

Men’s recovery groups matter. They give men a space to practice honesty, connection, and vulnerability — a place where deep shame and sorrow can finally be spoken aloud. As a therapist on the frontlines of men’s work for the past 15 years, I’ve seen how vital these circles can be. But I’ve also seen their [...]

Continue reading The Seduction of Men’s Recovery Groups at Andrew J Bauman.

“Well, I don’t want to be just like Jesus because he is dead,” my 5-year-old son blurted out one morning on the way to school. His deadpan delivery startled me. My theological brain wanted to jump in about resurrection and eternal life, but he had named something profound: We want to be like Jesus—but not [...]

Continue reading I Want to Be Like Jesus, But I Don’t Want to Be Abused at Andrew J Bauman.

  For many men, intimacy comes in only two flavors: sexual conquest or violent confrontation. We have been socialized, almost from birth, to face another man eye-to-eye only when we’re about to fight—or when we’re competing for dominance. The only time in our society where it is socially acceptable to come eye to eye with [...]

Continue reading Sex or Slaughter: When Male Connection is Reduced to Intercourse or Violence at Andrew J Bauman.

  “In the one-up, one-down world of men, there’s no place for 'same as,' and hence no platform for real intimacy. You’re either a winner or loser: dominator or dominated, grandiose or shame-filled. And you can’t be truly intimate from either the one-down (shame-filled) or the one-up (grandiose) position.” - Terry Real    When working [...]

Continue reading The Up & Down of Healing Narcissism at Andrew J Bauman.

They said, submit, sister, your strength is a sin. Kneel at the altar of his headship, let his voice lead, ignore your intuition. Her body, a temple, they claimed, but not her own. Every word of hers, a stone cast, while his lies built a throne. You are Jezebel incarnate, they spit with holy breath, [...]

Continue reading Her Exodus: A Poem of Liberation at Andrew J Bauman.

Greg was a famous pastor, young and charismatic, a popular Christian author, and an influencer in my evangelical circles. Though I didn’t know him personally, I had heard his name often and appreciated his passionate work from afar. So, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw his name in our applications, signing up for our [...]

Continue reading Unmasking the Pastor: A Journey from Hypocrisy to Healing at Andrew J Bauman.

In the early 80s, Therapist Pia Mellody created a helpful model to help understand trauma and treat the issues that came from it. She called this model the “Developmental Model of Immaturity.” Fast forward another decade or so, therapist and author Terry Real developed Relational Life Therapy (RLT), built on Mellody’s model and also pulled [...]

Continue reading A Framework of Healing Masculinity at Andrew J Bauman.

Society, church, and family have all taught us messages of what masculinity is supposed to be (blog here) and who we are to become. Out of these messages, we make certain vows and choose which type of masculinity to embody. Below are four common categories of masculinity that you may have been taught and that [...]

Continue reading Categories of Vowed Masculinity  at Andrew J Bauman.

What were the messages you received about being a man growing up? These are some of the common misconceptions about masculinity we were taught as children. These messages came from our parents, our schools, our churches, and society as a whole. They shaped our view of ourselves without us even knowing it.  How were you [...]

Continue reading The Messaging of Masculinity at Andrew J Bauman.

Sheila Gregoire recently posted this question on her social media,  “ A guy is getting out of the Every Man's Battle mentality and truly trying to put porn & lust behind him. He's doing the work. He's seeing a counselor.The problem is that he still battles with lustful thoughts when he sees women, and so [...]

Continue reading Bouncing Your Eyes & Avoiding Lust at Andrew J Bauman.

The five senses are how humans perceive and interact with the world. Through pornography use, other unhealthy sexual practices, and the socialization of masculinity, we have become disembodied creatures. Returning to what makes us most alive (our five senses) will be the path toward liberation, wholeness, and integrity.  Porn has become the mentor of many [...]

Continue reading The 5 Senses of Healthy Sexuality at Andrew J Bauman.