Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

By |2021-11-11T04:41:18+00:00October 20th, 2021|Church, Domestic Violence, Healing, Marriage, Masculinity, patriarchy, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Uncategorized, Violence|

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like [...]

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My Love & Hate for Women: a recovering sex addict’s ambivalence with femininity

By |2017-07-26T00:47:50+00:00July 13th, 2017|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Relationships, Sexuality|

I love women and I hate them. I need a woman close by to survive yet I can’t have a woman too close. If she gets too close, I will either self-destruct or annihilate her in a variety of socially acceptable, manipulative, systemic ways, like a brain surgeon using a [...]

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The Idolatry of Sex: When Sex is God & God is Sex 

By |2018-11-14T18:45:24+00:00June 21st, 2017|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

The Idolatry of Sex: When Sex is God & God is Sex  By: Andrew J. Bauman      The category of idolatry rarely comes up when working through sexual brokeness. Yet it seems to me one of the most important categories to engage when attempting to unwind the tangles of [...]

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Sexual Addiction, Misogyny, and Donald Trump

By |2017-04-11T15:21:57+00:00March 20th, 2017|Writings|

Here I reflect on the harm that occurs when restoration is not present, when acts of sexual brokenness are sanctioned by structures of power and, often, complicit church hierarchies. Please note: this article features a quote (widely circulated in news media last year) that is violently degrading and may be [...]

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Blessing Pornography: From Shame Toward Delight

By |2017-03-22T23:45:04+00:00February 2nd, 2017|Writings|

Here I extend the invitation to engaging the realm of pornography—where, for many people, shame and self-contempt are far too dominant. Where is the beauty in our desire, and how might blessing that beauty move us toward healing? Christian Newswire reported that 68% of Christian men and 50% of pastors [...]

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A Pornographic Style of Relating

By |2017-03-10T01:53:43+00:00October 1st, 2016|Writings|

As I mentioned in my previous article, I come from the first generation where Internet pornography entered our homes with staggering regularity. The pattern of pornography use has shown no sign of slowing down. As Belinda Luscombe writes in her Time article “Porn and the Threat to Vitality,” an “independent [...]

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