Sexualizing Sorrow: How Trauma Informs Our Sexual Brokenness

By |2020-03-11T02:33:48+00:00March 11th, 2020|Addiction, Glory, God, Grief, Healing, Loss, Marriage, Masculinity, patriarchy, Pornography, Relationships, Sexism, Sexuality, Shame|

For us to break free from our unwanted compulsive behaviors, we must have the courage to delve deeper into our woundedness and explore what lies beneath it. We must begin to kindly yet decisively cut out the roots of our sexual acting out. To do this, we must first gain [...]

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If I Were an Abuser, What Church Would I Want to Attend?

By |2020-08-05T01:20:52+00:00March 9th, 2020|Addiction, Church, Domestic Violence, Forgiveness, God, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Marriage, patriarchy, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Violence|

I am proud to feature the work of Dr. Nancy Murphy on my blog today. Dr. Murphy is a professor, Executive director of Northwest Family Life, and runs www.DVtraining.net to help educate churches in navigating issues of Domestic Violence. She has been my teacher and supervisor for the past 10 [...]

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Seeing My Dad’s Body

By |2020-03-03T20:24:37+00:00March 3rd, 2020|Addiction, Death, Fatherlessness, Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Shame, Uncategorized|

The hot Clearwater, Florida sun demanded that we turn up the AC in the rental car on our way to the funeral home. As Christy and I drove up to the faded yellowish-white brick building, I felt the familiar tension of grief deep in my body. I knew this feeling, [...]

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My Dad’s Eulogy

By |2020-03-02T18:37:51+00:00March 2nd, 2020|Death, Grief, Healing, Loss|

This was the eulogy that I read at my dad's funeral. I want to continue to honor him in telling the complexity of truth, living in such a way, that is full-bodied and full-hearted.   Dad, I don’t think I told you enough. But I love you. You hurt me so [...]

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I Deserve Sex: Addressing Entitlement Over Women’s Bodies

By |2020-02-19T19:18:56+00:00February 19th, 2020|Healing, Marriage, Masculinity, patriarchy, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

I hear it time and time again: “She won’t give me sex”, “She won’t give me what I deserve”, “What is wrong with my wife?” Even if these things aren’t said directly, they are often implied. Men feel they deserve sex on-demand from their wives, and that something is wrong [...]

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Marriage through the Genesis Narrative: Creating Equality

By |2020-04-07T01:39:19+00:00February 7th, 2020|Glory, Healing, Marriage, patriarchy, Relationships, Sexism|

Genesis 1-3 offers a unique view of gender roles within marriage. Genesis 1:27 begins with "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Males and females are both uniquely image-bearers of God, and in that, both deserve [...]

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An Option Before Divorce: What is a Trial Separation?

By |2020-02-04T20:54:24+00:00February 4th, 2020|Healing, Loss, Marriage, Relationships, Sexuality|

Excited to team up with my wife Christy Bauman on this article. We regularly work with couples who are in this stage of trying to figure out how to save or lay to rest their marriage. (Check out our marriage offerings) Check out Christy's incredible work here and her new [...]

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Breaking Down Stigmas & Sexism

By |2020-01-30T23:26:03+00:00January 29th, 2020|Death, Domestic Violence, Healing, Marriage, patriarchy, Pornography, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

There are many stigmas that need to be broken in the Christian tradition. The stigma of divorce in the Christian community is a phenomenon where folks are, after much pain and heartache, retraumatized and relegated to a second-class-citizen type of Christian and branded as damaged goods, a failure, or both. [...]

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Vocation & Calling: Musings on discerning direction and purpose

By |2020-01-16T18:05:53+00:00January 16th, 2020|Calling, Glory, God, Healing, Kindness, Vocation|

The romanticized idea of continued schooling/training or of stepping out into a career often clash with the stark truth. The first can mean strained finances, relationships, and pulling all-nighters, while the second could look like a nine-to-five, consistent income, and vacation time. Each is hard in different ways. Very hard. [...]

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Grieving a Lost Self

By |2019-12-04T16:53:03+00:00December 4th, 2019|Death, Death, Fatherlessness, Glory, God, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Loss, Marriage, Masculinity, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexuality, Shame|

I knew what had to be done; now I had to convince my body to carry out what my mind was telling me. It was about 9:00 p.m. when I reluctantly began gathering my belongings. I opened my pack and began filling it with my sleeping bag, a lighter, a [...]

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Liberation From Sex Addiction? By Stephen Grant

By |2019-11-14T17:13:18+00:00November 14th, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

Pleased to have a guest post by counselor Stephen Grant today on the blog. Read his bio and check out his work below.  As I walked up the outside stairs to the church’s classroom I couldn’t believe it was really happening. I was a dead man walking. Life as I [...]

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