My Child Was Exposed to Pornography: From a Concerned Mother

By |2019-08-19T17:09:16+00:00August 19th, 2019|Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Marriage, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

Below is a note from a concerned mother about her and her child's traumatic experience with pornography. We have chosen to protect the identity of the child and the family. Yet this letter is a gift for many of us to learn from as we continue the fight against the [...]

My Testimony is Better Than Yours

By |2019-07-03T03:58:30+00:00July 3rd, 2019|Calling, Church, Death, Glory, Healing, Kindness, Relationships, Shame|

We Christians love a good story. We know that stories are powerful, and sometimes we get caught up in the craving for that power.  I've told my life's story hundreds of times. In fact, when I was a pastor, I was applauded time and time again for the “power” of [...]

Comments Off on My Testimony is Better Than Yours

Let Addiction Reign: A Poem to My Father

By |2019-05-30T17:51:29+00:00May 30th, 2019|Addiction, Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Loss, Masculinity, Poetry, Shame|

1 Addiction 2 Addictions 3 Addictions 4   Dad, can you be addicted to anything more?   5 Addictions 6 Addictions 7 Addictions 8   Damn Dad can’t you get numb yet?   9 Addictions 10 Addictions 11 Addictions 12   Will you ever stop hating yourself?   I am [...]

Comments Off on Let Addiction Reign: A Poem to My Father

Caring for Our Internal Orphan

By |2017-10-29T18:21:12+00:00October 29th, 2017|Anxiety, Death, Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Masculinity|

Pictures tell stories, both told and untold. This photo tells thousands. There are years I go without looking into its glory, but it always whispers back for my return. At times it is just too painful to peer into. Though nearly 30 years have passed since it was taken, there [...]

Comments Off on Caring for Our Internal Orphan

A Brave Lament: A new film & book project

By |2017-05-09T18:36:24+00:00May 9th, 2017|Death, Glory, Grief, Healing|

A Brave Lament: a short film of life & death We are currently raising funds to complete our new film and book project. Please consider donating and sharing with your networks. During our grieving process, we realized authentic Christian resources were rare and lacking depth and emotional integrity. We wanted [...]

Comments Off on A Brave Lament: A new film & book project

From my time in the Psychiatric Ward

By |2017-06-30T16:18:09+00:00May 2nd, 2017|Death, Grief, Healing, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse|

I remember the walls... The cold white lonesome walls that mirrored my image with perfection. Starring into my face I saw a colorless, chipped, lifeless wall echoing my future loudly.   I remember this moment like it was tomorrow though it has been 13 years since I admitted myself into [...]

Comments Off on From my time in the Psychiatric Ward

A Goodbye to My Sister

By |2019-04-26T01:28:41+00:00April 21st, 2017|Death, Grief, Healing, Writings|

My sweet sister-in-law Julie Mcgill Bauman died today one year ago. I remember holding her hand laying by her bedside while she was on life support. When they pulled the plug I couldn’t bear watching. I had to step away and lay down, I couldn’t see her hurting. But today [...]

Comments Off on A Goodbye to My Sister