Let Addiction Reign: A Poem to My Father

By |2019-05-30T17:51:29+00:00May 30th, 2019|Addiction, Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Loss, Masculinity, Poetry, Shame|

1 Addiction 2 Addictions 3 Addictions 4   Dad, can you be addicted to anything more?   5 Addictions 6 Addictions 7 Addictions 8   Damn Dad can’t you get numb yet?   9 Addictions 10 Addictions 11 Addictions 12   Will you ever stop hating yourself?   I am [...]

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Caring for Our Internal Orphan

By |2017-10-29T18:21:12+00:00October 29th, 2017|Anxiety, Death, Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Masculinity|

Pictures tell stories, both told and untold. This photo tells thousands. There are years I go without looking into its glory, but it always whispers back for my return. At times it is just too painful to peer into. Though nearly 30 years have passed since it was taken, there [...]

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A Brave Lament: A new film & book project

By |2017-05-09T18:36:24+00:00May 9th, 2017|Death, Glory, Grief, Healing|

A Brave Lament: a short film of life & death We are currently raising funds to complete our new film and book project. Please consider donating and sharing with your networks. During our grieving process, we realized authentic Christian resources were rare and lacking depth and emotional integrity. We wanted [...]

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From my time in the Psychiatric Ward

By |2017-06-30T16:18:09+00:00May 2nd, 2017|Death, Grief, Healing, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse|

I remember the walls... The cold white lonesome walls that mirrored my image with perfection. Starring into my face I saw a colorless, chipped, lifeless wall echoing my future loudly.   I remember this moment like it was tomorrow though it has been 13 years since I admitted myself into [...]

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A Goodbye to My Sister

By |2019-04-26T01:28:41+00:00April 21st, 2017|Death, Grief, Healing, Writings|

My sweet sister-in-law Julie Mcgill Bauman died today one year ago. I remember holding her hand laying by her bedside while she was on life support. When they pulled the plug I couldn’t bear watching. I had to step away and lay down, I couldn’t see her hurting. But today [...]

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