Dad, can you be addicted to anything more?
Damn Dad can’t you get numb yet?
Will you ever stop hating yourself?
I am convinced that what you are looking for is not inside that bottle.
What you seek is not in those 14 containers of pills on your bathroom counter.
You will not find it in the next fast-food burger you consume
Or with the next lover who is with you in your room.
You must stop running from what is real; all these numbing agents do not heal,
you must first begin to feel.
Feel the pain of all that you have lost, feel the price your choices have cost.
Look back and see, the little boy and now the scared man you have lost is me.
For once look past yourself and see your boy’s bleeding heart,
It’s about time to admit your part,
Feel your alcohol, drug, and sex addiction,
Feel the loneliness of your isolation and depression.
Feel your constant lies, feel your shrouded alibis,
Feel your bankruptcy, the emptiness of your fantasies.
Does it hurt more than you thought it would?
Truth is a wolf and bites much harder than it should.
Now in that empty space, that throbbing place, Dad, I want you to feel my grace.
I want you to see love and redemption in my face; Yes, I will still be here longing for your embrace,
Wanting you to hold me, to delight, to laugh, to cry and see,
The beauty of what father and son could be.
No matter what you do or where you have gone, no matter the future or what you have done,
I want you to know, you will never be alone, I will always be waiting for my prodigal father to come home.