Parable of the Self-Sufficient and the Broken

By |2019-02-13T23:23:18+00:00February 13th, 2019|Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Shame|

A Therapeutic Rendition of Luke 18:9-14: 9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own piety and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men wanted to please God. One was self-sufficient, and the other was a broken man who needed help. 11 The self-sufficient man [...]

Life After Porn: Reconstructing a Healthy Sexuality After Pornography

By |2019-02-05T20:28:36+00:00February 5th, 2019|Addiction, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Reader's Ask, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Dear Andrew, Before marriage, I was a sex addict who slept with hundreds of women and struggled terribly with porn. Porn was a struggle in the beginning of our marriage as well, but over time I have learned how to remove it from my life. I have never cheated on [...]

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Honest Misogynist Part 3

By |2019-01-15T20:53:02+00:00January 15th, 2019|Domestic Violence, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Violence|

Here is Part 3 of this continued series of letters both to and from an honest misogynist. May it stir your heart to action against violence. This piece was written in collaboration with Rose Gwynn.  Part 1 Part 2 Dear Honest Misogynist, What a journey this has been. I have learned [...]

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Learning to Write: With Body & Heart

By |2019-01-11T19:53:50+00:00January 11th, 2019|Calling, Healing, Poetry, Writings|

I am often asked about the writing process: how did I become a “real” author? Despite having published several books, at times I still don’t feel like a “real” author, and I don’t know if I ever will. I suspect that my feeling of not being a “real” writer stems [...]

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Fighting Clean: Tips on How to Argue Well

By |2019-01-06T16:18:03+00:00January 6th, 2019|Domestic Violence, Healing, Kindness, Relationships, Violence|

One thing I have always struggled with is learning how to fight clean. In my family of origin, we won arguments by any means necessary: belittling, demeaning, and making the other person feel as small and as insignificant as possible in order to gain the upper hand. If that sounds [...]

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‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

By |2018-12-05T20:08:05+00:00December 5th, 2018|Domestic Violence, Grief, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]

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I Repent: A Poem to my Non-Christian friends

By |2018-11-15T17:21:48+00:00November 15th, 2018|Forgiveness, Healing, Kindness, Poetry, Violence|

  Today I am coming out of the closet. No, I am not gay; I am a Christian. Now, be honest with yourself. When you hear me say those words, what comes to your mind?   Take a moment and listen to those inner voices.   Am I immediately anti-gay, [...]

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In the Stillness, God.

By |2018-11-14T18:59:10+00:00November 14th, 2018|Glory, Healing, Poetry|

In stillness you, come. The quiet hits and you tear my pieces to more pieces, you mend my wounds with more wounds.   Oh God of the still. Here I breathe in My constant headache loosens. You become tangible again. Someone, I taste and hold, yes, I smell you. I [...]

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Reader’s Ask: Sin Nature Vs. Core Goodness

By |2018-11-02T16:38:09+00:00November 2nd, 2018|Glory, Reader's Ask, Self-Contempt|

Dear Mr. Bauman, Thank you for your piece on men ruling the world, and thank you most especially for your amazing courage in acknowledging the sexual abuse you've suffered, as well as for your willingness to demonstrate compassion to women. I take issue only with your assessment that "the core [...]

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Porn & Domestic Violence: An Interview

By |2018-10-29T15:53:21+00:00October 29th, 2018|Addiction, Domestic Violence, Masculinity, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

I recently did an interview with Northwest Family Life on the intersection of Pornography and Domestic Violence. I find this topic and conversation vital to the healing gender violence and healing masculine violence. If you are interested in this topic, please sign up for my online course What About the Men in [...]

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What about Masturbation?

By |2018-10-30T01:18:18+00:00October 27th, 2018|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Sexuality, Shame|

  The following is an excerpt from my book the "Psychology of Porn"   It’s a common question I get asked and a continuous debate within Christian circles: What about masturbation? Is it okay to masturbate, or not? If only it were that simple. The typical dialogue within the church [...]

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