Life After Porn: Reconstructing a Healthy Sexuality After Pornography

By |2019-02-05T20:28:36+00:00February 5th, 2019|Addiction, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Reader's Ask, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Dear Andrew, Before marriage, I was a sex addict who slept with hundreds of women and struggled terribly with porn. Porn was a struggle in the beginning of our marriage as well, but over time I have learned how to remove it from my life. I have never cheated on [...]

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Honest Misogynist Part 3

By |2019-01-15T20:53:02+00:00January 15th, 2019|Domestic Violence, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Violence|

Here is Part 3 of this continued series of letters both to and from an honest misogynist. May it stir your heart to action against violence. This piece was written in collaboration with Rose Gwynn.  Part 1 Part 2 Dear Honest Misogynist, What a journey this has been. I have learned [...]

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Fighting Clean: Tips on How to Argue Well

By |2019-01-06T16:18:03+00:00January 6th, 2019|Domestic Violence, Healing, Kindness, Relationships, Violence|

One thing I have always struggled with is learning how to fight clean. In my family of origin, we won arguments by any means necessary: belittling, demeaning, and making the other person feel as small and as insignificant as possible in order to gain the upper hand. If that sounds [...]

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‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

By |2018-12-05T20:08:05+00:00December 5th, 2018|Domestic Violence, Grief, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]

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I Repent: A Poem to my Non-Christian friends

By |2018-11-15T17:21:48+00:00November 15th, 2018|Forgiveness, Healing, Kindness, Poetry, Violence|

  Today I am coming out of the closet. No, I am not gay; I am a Christian. Now, be honest with yourself. When you hear me say those words, what comes to your mind?   Take a moment and listen to those inner voices.   Am I immediately anti-gay, [...]

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Porn & Domestic Violence: An Interview

By |2018-10-29T15:53:21+00:00October 29th, 2018|Addiction, Domestic Violence, Masculinity, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

I recently did an interview with Northwest Family Life on the intersection of Pornography and Domestic Violence. I find this topic and conversation vital to the healing gender violence and healing masculine violence. If you are interested in this topic, please sign up for my online course What About the Men in [...]

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Pornocracy: How Pornography Has Shaped Church & Democracy

By |2018-10-30T01:17:42+00:00October 19th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, News, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Recent events in the news regarding sexual assault have tapped deep into fears of men who believe they will be held accountable for horrific things they did as teenagers, and women who fear they will be questioned and interrogated about some of the most painful and confusing trauma in their [...]

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Hey, Men! Take Responsibility for Sexualizing Women

By |2018-10-16T18:59:09+00:00October 16th, 2018|Masculinity, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

One of the biggest ways men can begin to change the current trend of sexual assaults, sexual harassment, and the culture of sexualizing women is by taking responsibility for their past, current, and future failures of this kind. I know this is a big ask, yet it can be done. [...]

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Honest Misogynist Part 2

By |2019-01-15T20:31:39+00:00August 6th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

I am pleased to share a guest post today by my copy editor & writer, Rose Gwynn. This entry is in response to my Letter to an Objectified Woman, you will hear from a woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship with her objectifying man and the war within herself [...]

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When Men Rule the World

By |2018-06-25T23:35:16+00:00June 25th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Violence|

  Women were less than. No one would have said that out loud, but growing up in my white evangelical utopia deep in the South, we all knew it was true: men ruled the world. My presidents: always men, my pastors: always men. Most CEOs, elected officials, and anyone I [...]

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#BecauseOfMe: From Abuser to Advocate

By |2018-03-23T00:49:52+00:00March 23rd, 2018|Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Series #1 From Abuser to Advocate In record numbers women are courageously coming forward with their horrific tales of sexual abuse, harassment, assault, and violence. Wherever you turn, whether to Hollywood or Washington DC, rural areas or urban sprawl, violence and abuse have no central location; they are everywhere. The [...]

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