My Child Was Exposed to Pornography: From a Concerned Mother

By |2019-08-19T17:09:16+00:00August 19th, 2019|Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Marriage, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

Below is a note from a concerned mother about her and her child's traumatic experience with pornography. We have chosen to protect the identity of the child and the family. Yet this letter is a gift for many of us to learn from as we continue the fight against the [...]

Bringing Your Body Home: A Porn User’s Guide to Embodiment

By |2019-05-23T16:41:11+00:00May 23rd, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

After a few years as a therapist, I realized that a strictly narrative-based approach towards counseling limited the depth of the work that I was able to do with my clients, especially those who were who struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors. I started training with a somatic therapist to step [...]

Comments Off on Bringing Your Body Home: A Porn User’s Guide to Embodiment

Sexuality in the Extremes: Shame vs. Shamelessness

By |2019-04-11T19:54:06+00:00April 11th, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

“Getting off is getting off, it doesn’t matter how,” he said with a smirk. “I mean, I’m not gay, I just like busting a nut and don’t care how it happens.” My client’s crude demeanor was no surprise, considering his unwavering narcissism and complete shamelessness. I listened as he described [...]

Comments Off on Sexuality in the Extremes: Shame vs. Shamelessness

What If My Husband Is Using Porn?

By |2019-02-18T17:21:56+00:00February 18th, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

It’s a question many women find themselves asking: What if I find out my husband is using porn? The chances are high that your husband has looked at pornography in the past, is currently using it, or will do so in the future. Barna Group’s research found that among Christian [...]

Comments Off on What If My Husband Is Using Porn?

Life After Porn: Reconstructing a Healthy Sexuality After Pornography

By |2019-02-05T20:28:36+00:00February 5th, 2019|Addiction, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Reader's Ask, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Dear Andrew, Before marriage, I was a sex addict who slept with hundreds of women and struggled terribly with porn. Porn was a struggle in the beginning of our marriage as well, but over time I have learned how to remove it from my life. I have never cheated on [...]

Comments Off on Life After Porn: Reconstructing a Healthy Sexuality After Pornography

‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

By |2018-12-05T20:08:05+00:00December 5th, 2018|Domestic Violence, Grief, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]

Comments Off on ‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

Porn & Domestic Violence: An Interview

By |2018-10-29T15:53:21+00:00October 29th, 2018|Addiction, Domestic Violence, Masculinity, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

I recently did an interview with Northwest Family Life on the intersection of Pornography and Domestic Violence. I find this topic and conversation vital to the healing gender violence and healing masculine violence. If you are interested in this topic, please sign up for my online course What About the Men in [...]

Comments Off on Porn & Domestic Violence: An Interview

What about Masturbation?

By |2018-10-30T01:18:18+00:00October 27th, 2018|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Sexuality, Shame|

  The following is an excerpt from my book the "Psychology of Porn"   It’s a common question I get asked and a continuous debate within Christian circles: What about masturbation? Is it okay to masturbate, or not? If only it were that simple. The typical dialogue within the church [...]

Comments Off on What about Masturbation?

Pornocracy: How Pornography Has Shaped Church & Democracy

By |2018-10-30T01:17:42+00:00October 19th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, News, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Recent events in the news regarding sexual assault have tapped deep into fears of men who believe they will be held accountable for horrific things they did as teenagers, and women who fear they will be questioned and interrogated about some of the most painful and confusing trauma in their [...]

Comments Off on Pornocracy: How Pornography Has Shaped Church & Democracy

Hey, Men! Take Responsibility for Sexualizing Women

By |2018-10-16T18:59:09+00:00October 16th, 2018|Masculinity, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

One of the biggest ways men can begin to change the current trend of sexual assaults, sexual harassment, and the culture of sexualizing women is by taking responsibility for their past, current, and future failures of this kind. I know this is a big ask, yet it can be done. [...]

Comments Off on Hey, Men! Take Responsibility for Sexualizing Women

Honest Misogynist Part 2

By |2019-01-15T20:31:39+00:00August 6th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Violence|

I am pleased to share a guest post today by my copy editor & writer, Rose Gwynn. This entry is in response to my Letter to an Objectified Woman, you will hear from a woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship with her objectifying man and the war within herself [...]

Comments Off on Honest Misogynist Part 2
Load More Posts