Sexuality in the Extremes: Shame vs. Shamelessness

By |2019-04-11T19:54:06+00:00April 11th, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexism, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

“Getting off is getting off, it doesn’t matter how,” he said with a smirk. “I mean, I’m not gay, I just like busting a nut and don’t care how it happens.” My client’s crude demeanor was no surprise, considering his unwavering narcissism and complete shamelessness. I listened as he described [...]

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Shining a Light into Shame’s Darkness

By |2019-03-06T02:05:34+00:00March 5th, 2019|Glory, Healing, Loss, Shame|

Proud to have Dr. Jason Kanz as a guest blogger on my website this week. Jason is a neuropsychologist and writer. You can follow his work at JasonKanz.com   For several years, I learned everything I could about shame. I read books, listened to lectures, and attended conferences about the [...]

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What If My Husband Is Using Porn?

By |2019-02-18T17:21:56+00:00February 18th, 2019|Addiction, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

It’s a question many women find themselves asking: What if I find out my husband is using porn? The chances are high that your husband has looked at pornography in the past, is currently using it, or will do so in the future. Barna Group’s research found that among Christian [...]

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Parable of the Self-Sufficient and the Broken

By |2019-02-13T23:23:18+00:00February 13th, 2019|Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Shame|

A Therapeutic Rendition of Luke 18:9-14: 9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own piety and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men wanted to please God. One was self-sufficient, and the other was a broken man who needed help. 11 The self-sufficient man [...]

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‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

By |2018-12-05T20:08:05+00:00December 5th, 2018|Domestic Violence, Grief, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]

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What about Masturbation?

By |2018-10-30T01:18:18+00:00October 27th, 2018|Addiction, Healing, Pornography, Sexuality, Shame|

  The following is an excerpt from my book the "Psychology of Porn"   It’s a common question I get asked and a continuous debate within Christian circles: What about masturbation? Is it okay to masturbate, or not? If only it were that simple. The typical dialogue within the church [...]

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When Men Rule the World

By |2018-06-25T23:35:16+00:00June 25th, 2018|Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Shame, Violence|

  Women were less than. No one would have said that out loud, but growing up in my white evangelical utopia deep in the South, we all knew it was true: men ruled the world. My presidents: always men, my pastors: always men. Most CEOs, elected officials, and anyone I [...]

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#BecauseOfMe: From Abuser to Advocate

By |2018-03-23T00:49:52+00:00March 23rd, 2018|Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Series #1 From Abuser to Advocate In record numbers women are courageously coming forward with their horrific tales of sexual abuse, harassment, assault, and violence. Wherever you turn, whether to Hollywood or Washington DC, rural areas or urban sprawl, violence and abuse have no central location; they are everywhere. The [...]

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A Message to Men: Part 1

By |2017-10-25T16:39:16+00:00October 25th, 2017|Healing, Masculinity, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

        With another bombshell revelation in the news this month, Harvey Weinstein has used his place of power and influence to use and abuse a countless number of women. The response has been powerful with millions of women sharing their heartbreaking courageous stories on social media with [...]

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Goodness is Here: A poem of therapeutic gratitude

By |2017-09-18T19:12:11+00:00September 18th, 2017|Glory, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Poetry, Shame, Writings|

This past week I spent in Ashland, OR at the Masters Center for Transformation, facilitated by Dr. Robert Masters (http://robertmasters.com/) . It was some of the deepest psychospiritual healing work I have ever done in my life. I laughed, I yelled, I moaned, I sang, I mourned, I grieved, and [...]

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