My Child Was Exposed to Pornography: From a Concerned Mother

By |2019-08-19T17:09:16+00:00August 19th, 2019|Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Marriage, Pornography, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame|

Below is a note from a concerned mother about her and her child's traumatic experience with pornography. We have chosen to protect the identity of the child and the family. Yet this letter is a gift for many of us to learn from as we continue the fight against the [...]

Don’t Talk to me of God

By |2019-07-04T19:56:17+00:00July 4th, 2019|Church, Glory, Grief, Healing, Loss, Violence, Writings|

As I observe the state of our nation, I am increasingly concerned, especially with the state of the faith community at large. Many folks call the U.S. a Christian nation, and yet, in practice, we are anything but. While we increase our spending on military machines, we not only don’t [...]

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Where I Come From: My Racist Roots

By |2019-06-24T22:55:47+00:00June 24th, 2019|Death, Grief, Poetry, Racism, Shame, Violence|

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.” – James Baldwin   Put your fingers in your ears; you will still hear us.  Go ahead, run. Faster, boy; you [...]

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A Letter to Your Parents: Reclaiming a Lost Voice

By |2019-06-06T22:34:24+00:00June 6th, 2019|Addiction, Fatherlessness, Forgiveness, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Loss, Pornography, Relationships|

    One exercise I do often with clients is have them begin to tell the truth to their parents. This is not an attempt to blame their parents for all their current problems, but rather to reclaim a lost voice. We often relate to our parents the same way [...]

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Let Addiction Reign: A Poem to My Father

By |2019-05-30T17:51:29+00:00May 30th, 2019|Addiction, Death, Fatherlessness, Grief, Loss, Masculinity, Poetry, Shame|

1 Addiction 2 Addictions 3 Addictions 4   Dad, can you be addicted to anything more?   5 Addictions 6 Addictions 7 Addictions 8   Damn Dad can’t you get numb yet?   9 Addictions 10 Addictions 11 Addictions 12   Will you ever stop hating yourself?   I am [...]

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Parable of the Self-Sufficient and the Broken

By |2019-02-13T23:23:18+00:00February 13th, 2019|Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Shame|

A Therapeutic Rendition of Luke 18:9-14: 9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own piety and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men wanted to please God. One was self-sufficient, and the other was a broken man who needed help. 11 The self-sufficient man [...]

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Life After Porn: Reconstructing a Healthy Sexuality After Pornography

By |2019-02-05T20:28:36+00:00February 5th, 2019|Addiction, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Pornography, Reader's Ask, Relationships, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality|

Dear Andrew, Before marriage, I was a sex addict who slept with hundreds of women and struggled terribly with porn. Porn was a struggle in the beginning of our marriage as well, but over time I have learned how to remove it from my life. I have never cheated on [...]

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Honest Misogynist Part 3

By |2019-01-15T20:53:02+00:00January 15th, 2019|Domestic Violence, Grief, Healing, Kindness, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Violence|

Here is Part 3 of this continued series of letters both to and from an honest misogynist. May it stir your heart to action against violence. This piece was written in collaboration with Rose Gwynn.  Part 1 Part 2 Dear Honest Misogynist, What a journey this has been. I have learned [...]

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‘Tis the Season for Date Rape: A Modern Interpretation of a Christmas Classic

By |2018-12-05T20:08:05+00:00December 5th, 2018|Domestic Violence, Grief, Masculinity, Pornography, Relationships, Self-Contempt, Sexual Abuse, Sexuality, Shame, Violence|

Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]

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Caring for Our Internal Orphan

By |2017-10-29T18:21:12+00:00October 29th, 2017|Anxiety, Death, Forgiveness, Glory, Grief, Healing, Masculinity|

Pictures tell stories, both told and untold. This photo tells thousands. There are years I go without looking into its glory, but it always whispers back for my return. At times it is just too painful to peer into. Though nearly 30 years have passed since it was taken, there [...]

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Goodness is Here: A poem of therapeutic gratitude

By |2017-09-18T19:12:11+00:00September 18th, 2017|Glory, Grief, Healing, Masculinity, Poetry, Shame, Writings|

This past week I spent in Ashland, OR at the Masters Center for Transformation, facilitated by Dr. Robert Masters (http://robertmasters.com/) . It was some of the deepest psychospiritual healing work I have ever done in my life. I laughed, I yelled, I moaned, I sang, I mourned, I grieved, and [...]

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