One exercise I do often with clients is have them begin to tell the truth to their parents. This is not an attempt to blame their parents for all their current problems, but rather to reclaim a lost voice. We often relate to our parents the same way [...]
After a few years as a therapist, I realized that a strictly narrative-based approach towards counseling limited the depth of the work that I was able to do with my clients, especially those who were who struggling with unwanted sexual behaviors. I started training with a somatic therapist to step [...]
“Getting off is getting off, it doesn’t matter how,” he said with a smirk. “I mean, I’m not gay, I just like busting a nut and don’t care how it happens.” My client’s crude demeanor was no surprise, considering his unwavering narcissism and complete shamelessness. I listened as he described [...]
As I've become aware of the complexities of sexism, I see the world much differently than I did before. I am beginning to look for ways to raise my children to not “drink the kool-aid” of sexism that is so ingrained in American society, especially in evangelical culture. Recently, my [...]
In Honor of International Women's Day and all the Fierce Women in my life. I am grieved deeply by how many women attempt to become small; I see the way you try your hardest to become less than. Less attractive, less brilliant, less strong, trying your damnedest to become something [...]
Proud to have Dr. Jason Kanz as a guest blogger on my website this week. Jason is a neuropsychologist and writer. You can follow his work at JasonKanz.com For several years, I learned everything I could about shame. I read books, listened to lectures, and attended conferences about the [...]
It’s a question many women find themselves asking: What if I find out my husband is using porn? The chances are high that your husband has looked at pornography in the past, is currently using it, or will do so in the future. Barna Group’s research found that among Christian [...]
A Therapeutic Rendition of Luke 18:9-14: 9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own piety and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men wanted to please God. One was self-sufficient, and the other was a broken man who needed help. 11 The self-sufficient man [...]
Dear Andrew, Before marriage, I was a sex addict who slept with hundreds of women and struggled terribly with porn. Porn was a struggle in the beginning of our marriage as well, but over time I have learned how to remove it from my life. I have never cheated on [...]
Here is Part 3 of this continued series of letters both to and from an honest misogynist. May it stir your heart to action against violence. This piece was written in collaboration with Rose Gwynn. Part 1 Part 2 Dear Honest Misogynist, What a journey this has been. I have learned [...]
I am often asked about the writing process: how did I become a “real” author? Despite having published several books, at times I still don’t feel like a “real” author, and I don’t know if I ever will. I suspect that my feeling of not being a “real” writer stems [...]
One thing I have always struggled with is learning how to fight clean. In my family of origin, we won arguments by any means necessary: belittling, demeaning, and making the other person feel as small and as insignificant as possible in order to gain the upper hand. If that sounds [...]
Today I am coming out of the closet. No, I am not gay; I am a Christian. Now, be honest with yourself. When you hear me say those words, what comes to your mind? Take a moment and listen to those inner voices. Am I immediately anti-gay, [...]
In stillness you, come. The quiet hits and you tear my pieces to more pieces, you mend my wounds with more wounds. Oh God of the still. Here I breathe in My constant headache loosens. You become tangible again. Someone, I taste and hold, yes, I smell you. I [...]
Her poster hung from my dorm room wall. She was a model; tall, blonde, slender, attractive. I went out of my way to tell guys who visited my dorm room, “Look who I date when I’m at home”. I stood tall, proud of being the subject of envy from [...]
It has come to my attention that folks in the abuse/trauma recovery community have questioned my stance on masturbation and somehow have labeled me as the “pro-masturbation” guy and thus not correct in my view of “proper” recovery practices. I have heard of folks not wanting to recommend my men’s [...]
Recent events in the news regarding sexual assault have tapped deep into fears of men who believe they will be held accountable for horrific things they did as teenagers, and women who fear they will be questioned and interrogated about some of the most painful and confusing trauma in their [...]
©Andrew Bauman 2017 all rights reserved Above is what I call the healthy relationship indicator. It can be used as a measurement tool for therapists to measure couple’s relational connectivity in a variety of places of intimacy. It can also be used to self rate to see where you [...]
I am pleased to share a guest post today by my copy editor & writer, Rose Gwynn. This entry is in response to my Letter to an Objectified Woman, you will hear from a woman who is stuck in an abusive relationship with her objectifying man and the war within herself [...]
Women were less than. No one would have said that out loud, but growing up in my white evangelical utopia deep in the South, we all knew it was true: men ruled the world. My presidents: always men, my pastors: always men. Most CEOs, elected officials, and anyone I [...]
