Let me be candid with you, many men who say they're on this journey of transformation and change are, well, frankly, full of ofσκύβαλα aka skubala (this is the Greek word for shit, dung, fecal matter, decayed waste made famous by the Apostle Paul which he used in his [...]
During my 13-year addiction to pornography and 20-year addiction to the objectification of women, I am wondering what my penis would have said if it had a voice? Strange, as it may sound, each of our body parts has a story to tell. Will you listen? Will you listen to [...]
Grace is the foundation of our Christian faith. Jesus giving his sinless life in place of our own is what the good news is all about. But what happens when grace is used inappropriately, used as a form of manipulation to push victims of abuse and/or betrayal to “show grace” [...]
The answer to becoming a safe and good man is not becoming weaker (humble, yes—weak, no); it's about becoming more powerful (not aggressive). However, stepping into authentic masculine power can seem like an oxymoron that conjures up images of the Marlboro man, or thoughts of violence, homophobia, misogyny, money, and [...]
It’s important to note this article's intent is not to be used to justify abusive behavior but to more clearly define it. If you are a woman in an unsafe situation, get safe, immediately. I have been working with abusive men in my private counseling practice for ten [...]
I knew what had to be done; now I had to convince my body to carry out what my mind was telling me. It was about 9:00 p.m. when I reluctantly began gathering my belongings. I opened my pack and began filling it with my sleeping bag, a lighter, a [...]
I carry you with me, everywhere. The lines of my hands resemble yours. The wrinkles beginning to form on my face bear a time when you used to smile. I see you in my crooked nose; it looks a lot like your integrity. These types of recognitions stun me on [...]
Our genitals are good. They were made for giving and receiving pleasure, new life, and experiencing radical divine joy. Many times our sexual organs get a bad rap. Sometimes we feel they have betrayed us. This happens often in the context of sexual abuse. Many victims of sexual abuse experience [...]
I was attending a professional training group to improve my therapeutic skills when I was brought face to face with deep, lingering fear and shame around my past treatment of women and idolatry of beauty. One of the exercises we were asked to do was to pair up with another [...]
Here is Part 3 of this continued series of letters both to and from an honest misogynist. May it stir your heart to action against violence. This piece was written in collaboration with Rose Gwynn. Part 1 Part 2 Dear Honest Misogynist, What a journey this has been. I have learned [...]
Internalized sexism and patriarchy are deeply entrenched into American culture. Even the Christmas season is not immune from this plague. As we celebrate the baby Jesus’ courageous entry into our world, sexist songs and rhetoric attempt to make light of sexual entrapment and the complete disregard of female voices and [...]
Dear Mr. Bauman, Thank you for your piece on men ruling the world, and thank you most especially for your amazing courage in acknowledging the sexual abuse you've suffered, as well as for your willingness to demonstrate compassion to women. I take issue only with your assessment that "the core [...]
The Courage of Kindness Excerpt from Stumbling toward Wholeness by Andrew J. Bauman “I am so tired of waiting, Aren’t you, For the world to become good And beautiful and kind?” -LANGSTON HUGHES Only after a decade of walking through my own healing process and having the sacred privilege [...]
The Onslaught of Contempt By: Andrew J. Bauman It was strange that our previous babysitter had blocked me on Facebook. What did I do? Had I offended her in some way? I was anxious as I approached her. “Jess is everything okay with us? I noticed you had blocked [...]
I remember the walls... The cold white lonesome walls that mirrored my image with perfection. Starring into my face I saw a colorless, chipped, lifeless wall echoing my future loudly. I remember this moment like it was tomorrow though it has been 13 years since I admitted myself into [...]
Gun Reform VS. Self-Reform Engaging Violence within & without By Andrew J. Bauman “He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they [...]
Self- Contempt as Addiction: "Hello my name is Andrew and I hate myself" By Andrew Bauman “And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.” ― Kahlil Gibran, The Broken Wings “Every addiction is an attempt to slay hope” - Dan Allender The word addiction [...]
I have been doing work on my own history of misogyny and the abuse that many women suffer daily under a man's unaddressed brokenness. Here I try to describe what is going through a man's psyche as he unconsciously uses a woman to mend his own wounded heart. Dear [...]
