It’s not what you say is what you believe, it’s how you live that is most true of you.
I often counsel women by saying, “We no longer believe his words, but only his life.”
So many men will say they “dabble” in porn? Sorry, there is no such thing as “dabbling” in objectifying women. You don’t just hate women a little bit. It’s an either/ or, all or nothing, not a both/and. Either you have contempt for the feminine, and you want to “power over” them and use them for your own pleasure, or you don’t.
So many men want it both ways. They want to make porn “ethical” or less dehumanizing, and yet though it sounds nice, it is impossible to do in the set-up of consumer and consumed. They desperately want the story they tell themselves to be what is most true of them. Sadly, many men are grossly misguided and lying to themselves.
How you live says that you believe women are less than you and that you are entitled to devour them. Even if you tell yourself you are a “good man, who respects women.” The way you live paints a more accurate portrait.
Will you begin to listen to the way you live your life?
The cognitive dissonance of many men is astounding.
Telling the fullness of our truth humbles us. When we live in the truth of knowing ourselves, we can never be too prideful because we become familiar with our depravity. On the flip side, we can never become too contemptuous because we have also come to know our deep goodness and glory. Telling the truth is our path towards freedom and new life.
If we live truthfully, we will grow courage and deepen our integrity. God is truth, the more we live in truth is the more we will experience God.
I am reminded of Revelation 3:15-16 which says,
“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” ESV
God seemingly does not like the middle space when it comes to truth-telling.
My prayer for you is that you will have the courage to share your secrets and tell the full truth about who and what you have become. The result may be painful, but in the end, you will be given a greater gift: self-respect and deepened integrity.
